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movies and the way they made us feel

by benjamin nguyen

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1.
m'morning 02:40
sun came out today and it broke my heart i still don't even know myself at all and since you had yourself all figured out i've been violent i've been violent disassociated chewed my nails i'm calling you again we still don't go to bed until it's 6 am and you don't care ask me if you love me one more time i'll go insane til you leave the house i love you til i leave your house a second there i thought that this would work nothing makes me feel the way i used to one more desperate way of getting answers then i feel hopeless so i went home again
2.
hold me and let me come home to you the feelings i had before you went to bed we lost all the love we had and i'm stuck in this place without you i'm doing the best i can to become a part of your walls i cut up our pictures i never felt pretty with you i never felt pretty with you and i'm awake in my bed without you i can't seem to sleep no more and i'm awake in my bed without you i can't seem to sleep no more and i'm stuck in this place without you i'm doing the best i can and i'm stuck in this place without you i'm doing the best i can without you i'm doing the best i can
3.
kaleidoscope 01:57
i couldn't see what world she left for me and i wanna leave i'm too low and i'm too busy she knows that i'm here and she knows that i'm here i couldn't see what world she left for me and i wanna leave i'm too low and i'm too busy she knows that i'm here and she knows that i'm here
4.
when i let you in for the first time i was so hesitant and scared now i cut you up for the last time you always were so close to me how can i be something again? how do i know who to believe? all summer long up in your room you send the message i'm blowing up about my friends about my job you got me to my darkest place and i lost so long before i know i'd lose again i lost so long ago because i know i'm never made to win i lost so long before i know i'd lose again i lost so long ago because i know i'm never made to win
5.
crying song 03:39
i'll be a track runner running down your street but theres no time for action and it's time i go to sleep but you call me crying as if i was killing you and you call me by my name as if i was killing you and i hope you're happy with him and i hope your life is perfect while i'm in bed for seven days wishing the pain away the world won't stop for me and honestly it's terrifying i'll be a ghost writer writing all your songs and this song i stole from you that only you would know but i can't sleep crying as if i was being killed and i can't sleep crying as if i was being killed and i hope you're happy with him and i hope your life is perfect while i'm in bed for seven days wishing the pain away the world won't stop for me and honestly it's terrifying and honestly i'd die and you won't give a shit
6.
on this tired rainy night i fall for some adornment made its course snow is melting far away in the backseat of a car i fall for some appointment cancelled for my lack of energy i've got something special it don't mean much to you i've got some disappointment in my lack of evening talk on this tired rainy night i fall for some adornment made its course snow is melting far away in the backseat of a car i fall for some appointment cancelled for my lack of energy i've got something special it don't mean much to you i've got some disappointment in my lack of evening talk i've got something special it don't mean much to you i've got some disappointment in my lack of evening talk
7.
no. 2 luna 01:10
got my tennis shoes on and i'm going to the court that ball looks like someone i don't remember who got my tennis clothes on i'm feeling like a liar red shoes on the pavement i look like johnny depp

about

recorded in various places on some of the worst days of my life holy cow

credits

released April 14, 2023

additional guitar on 'i loved you more than you thought' by benjamin shriel

thank you to all my friends from record night, friends from the meanwhile, friends from high school who stuck around, friends that go to ugly flannel shows, friends i play magic the gathering with, friends that i also happen to work with, friends from free space shows, friends i met through annie, and friends that live far away. you are the reason any of this is worth it. thank you.

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benjamin nguyen Grand Rapids, Michigan

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