anything but country

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some of the hardest days of my life.

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released August 4, 2017

all songs by ben nguyen

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ben nguyen Grand Rapids, Michigan

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Track Name: apple cider
some days I can say
I don't believe in god
and I don't believe him now
it's been so hard this month
it's easy not to try
easy to not believe at all
it feels like all these days
when things are meant to save our lives
but ends up disappointing us
I went to church this week
still don't feel anything
I went alone this week
and I left sunday the same
Track Name: el mentiroso
hold my gun pointed at god
a feeling I have never had before
find myself in someone's house
I've felt alone, been so alone
it's so impossible to be so happy when
when people always run away
and it's been so difficult to try to smile when
when things will never stay the same
I've been so personal with nearly everyone
it starts to get old, I start to burn out
it's been so hard this month, so hard to think about
the times we both had, those words we've both said
Track Name: a farewell song
we never spoke again
everything I said to you meant nothing
I had so much to say
everything you said to me was empty
you never spoke again
everything you said to me meant nothing
I never ate again
everything I thought about was that week
and I don't know a thing
and you don't notice me
I'm moving on again
what I thought of myself was nothing
and things are back again
everything I do myself I do again
Track Name: elbow patches
when I die I hope I die with you
when I close my eyes I'll speak to you
"hey my love I made it out this place
hey my love will never be the same"
If I die early I'll have no regrets
If I have you I won't regret again
if I find god I'll never fear the end
if I meet god I'll never doubt again
Track Name: good enough
this is the only way
I feel alive anymore
this is the first time
I've felt so lonely and so bored
cause I don't feel so human
and I don't feel so strong
and when god comes knocking at my door
I tell him go away
I'm not good enough
this is the only way
I feel human anymore
this is the only time
I feel like living anymore
Track Name: happy endings
everything restarts again
everything's a wreck
no more happy endings
until the day I die
but that's just life
things I said this past year
still carries on til now
the things I told you
I don't regret
Track Name: minnesota
you said you hated cold and I feared that you were too
cause it ends up getting colder in the end
and the day I've spent alone are days I've thought of you
and the warning signs that I've ignored
and you never said the words, those eight letters at all
and I realized it was cause it wasn't true
so I'll say sorry if you hate me
the cigarette smoke was never meant to
to get in my lungs but I don't care now
I'll say I hate you like I don't know you
you still listen to my songs and I am moving on
cause piano music wasn't like it was
you grab my waist while, while I am sleeping
and sleep on me while laying in the car
well I just you hope you, you find a way to
do that twenty four hours away
so you'll ignore me like we were nothing
I'll sleep in my friends, in my friends houses
in hopes I won't feel yr arms around me
yr arms in my dreams, yr voice in my sleep
I'll take yr pictures, I'll laugh and burn them
the shirts we both had oh I'll just tear them
yr favorite albums, I'll learn to hate them
yr face in my dreams, I'll soon forget it